If you don't love and respect yourself, it's a sure bet that no one else will. Fortunately, with dedication and plenty of soul-searching, you can learn how to love yourself . Once you do this, you will see that love attracts love. By becoming a more positive, content individual, you will naturally attract others to you and develop more satisfying relationships. Here are some tips on how to accomplish this:

Stop Criticizing Yourself. Sometimes, you can be your own worst enemy in terms of tearing down your own self-esteem. No one knows your flaws like you do, and it can be very tempting to criticize yourself at every turn. However, you must try to be gentle with yourself. There is a difference between criticizing, which is purely negative, and correcting, which has a positive goal of setting yourself on the right track. Let's imagine that you don't love yourself because you think you are lazy. Whenever you find yourself procrastinating or engaging in other lazy behavior, you will probably be tempted to think, "I'm the worst! I'm a lazy loser who never accomplishes anything." Nip this critical thought in the bud and replace it with a gentle correction like, "I will not give in to laziness! I have the strength and intelligence to be productive and get things done right now."

Forgive Yourself. This can be difficult. Sometimes it seems like what you've done in the past is unforgivable, and will mark you forever as a person unworthy of love. However, you must let go of the past. What's past is past, and you cannot change it. What you can change is the decisions you make and the actions you take in the present moment. Don't base your actions on a false concept of yourself as an unforgivable miscreant. Instead, understand that you can make positive changes in your life. No matter what you've done in the past, you can express goodness, humility, and selflessness now. Often, helping others is a great way to help yourself with forgiveness issues. When you help others, you see their love and appreciation for you. You realize that you are capable of producing good in your life, and you then begin to let go of the bad you've done in the past.

Look Inward, Not Outward. Because human beings are social animals, we tend to place a lot of importance on how others think of us. However, when it comes to loving yourself, you need to recognize that the source of your feeling of self-worth is within your own heart, not in the thoughts and opinions of others. Stop seeking approval for your life choices from other people. As long as you are looking for another's approval, you are placing responsibility for your happiness outside of yourself. Ultimately, you must follow your own path and take charge of your own happiness.

By following these three steps, you will be well on your way towards a happier, more fulfilled life in which you can love and respect yourself.

Many people want to make use of the law of attraction in order to better their relationships, but are not sure how to apply these laws. Relationships are similar to jobs and you have to keep working at them. No matter if you are trying to create a new relationship or are trying to improve an existing relationship. No matter how good a relationship is, there comes a time when relationships face difficulties. During these difficult times, one can make use of the law of attraction to your benefit.

The law of attraction will help you overcome these difficult times and eliminate any further problems. When problems arise in a relationship, partners may experience hurt and disappointment. All relationships experience hardships and problems, and this is the time where the couple starts to doubts each other. By applying the law of attraction you can forgive yourself and your partner and change the negative situation into a positive situation.

Always remember what attracted you to your partner in the first instance, and accept that every person has their faults, that no person is perfect. Love and understanding in turn creates happiness and circumstances that are positive in your life. A lack of understanding or acceptance creates a breeding ground for contempt. People are individuals, and a fulfilling relationship is when each partner understands the laws of attraction.
You have to change the way you think and behave as opposed to trying to change the way your partner thinks and behaves. You can strengthen your relationship by applying the laws of attraction. Whenever you hit a trouble spot, first consider your behavior patterns towards your partner and other people around you. Once you change your attitude towards your partner, the situation will turn around for the better and you will note that your partner’s attitude will also change for the better.

Placing demands on your partner will cause conflict and conflict will result in resentment which in turn will lead to separation or divorce. Marriage is a commitment whereby both parties need to compromise on a daily basis. Yes, there will be situations whereby one become irritates with their partner for leaving clothes lying on the floor or not closing the shampoo bottle.
In such instances one should gently express their feeling to their partner positively as opposed to becoming enraged and causing conflict over trivial matters. Your partner will respond positively and will then try and rectify their bad habits. Success in a relationship is not about clothes lying on the floor, but about compromising and learning to live with each other in harmony.
The essence of the law of attraction teaches us to compromise and teaches us to be positive and tolerant of ourselves as well as other people. No matter if you have lived a miserable life, remember you are the one that created this reality and you are the only one that can change this reality. The measures of success are based on the way you think. If your thoughts are negative, your life will be negative and if your thoughts are positive, then only will you experience success in a relationship and life in general.

Affirmations are the statements which are used to produce healthier awareness within one’s life. These affirmations are very important when you have any unpleasant wave in life. You can choose any statement from book or list of affirmations available in net, or you can create a statement of your own choice. The main object of this affirmation of love is to produce self beliefs, and ignore the negative attitude that exists in any style.

How the affirmations work?

You can develop different patterns of thoughts, attitude, or beliefs. All these entities can be based on your past. Most of the people spend their life using these beliefs, attitude and mind set, whether wrong or right. We make these beliefs, a strong image of our life by using these attitudes continuously throughout our life. Affirmations of love work in same pattern to change the negative impact of failure in any act in your daily life. These little statements encourage the development of residing positive affection in everybody.

How can you prepare your own love affirmations?

Your thoughts play an important role to shape your mind and life. Love affirmations are the encouraging words to bring positive changes in your behavior towards yourself. There are many factors in creating these affirmations and their result may vary from person to person. You must choose love affirmations according to your personality, or you can create some affirmations of your own taste. There are three important rules to create them.

1. These affirmations must be in present form; for example, you can say “I am extremely happy” rather than “I will be glad”.

2. You must collect simple and clear words to create an affirmation, so you can easily recite them and get quick impact as a result.

3. These words must be affirmatively positive; you must say “I have enough money to complete my desires” rather than “less money will not be problem for me.”

How you should practice the affirmations?

The beliefs and attitude stay in the deepest part of your brains, which is called subconscious, so it is not easy to change these attitudes of your life. You have to be very conscious, and patient to alter your personality. You must have proper sessions of practice to get best benefits in your life.

1. You must set a definite duration in your daily life to practice the love affirmations.

2. These affirmations must be repeated in specific numbers everyday, and you should increase the time of repetition everyday.

3. Use these affirmations on varying intensity; for example, you can start reciting them loudly, then whispering and in the last mentally. It is very useful technique, because we use the three stages of mind, conscious, subconscious, and super conscious in same pattern.

4. The best time for this practice is before going to bed or immediately after leaving the bed. The best technique is to capture the mind at the time of transaction when the brain is very near to alpha state of mind.

Law of attraction is known as universal law. It has high impact on every existed part of your life, especially, your love. If you find any hurdles in your relationship then you should not give up the hope of success. Although, many people feel scared, cursed, and even mistreated, if they got a series of damaged partnerships. It is possible that you may not get a real life partner of your choice to live happily your desired life. However, you can get a true love and desired relationship to live according to your dreams. You can get guidance in this field to unveil the secrets of law of attractions.

1. Don’t fear of loneliness: many people preoccupy about getting a right partner of their choice because they afraid of getting old alone. Fear is a type of creative thought same like the other thoughts, but you won’t accept what it produce for you. Being alone is part of embracement than the fear. You should not disallow the law of attraction and its manifestations by fearing it. Potential lovers could be scared by your perceptible neediness. You must have a pure desire for a better relationship than the desperate longing based on the fear of luck.

2. Be happy to start a happy relationship. You are wrong, if you think that you will be happy only when you find a real love of your life, because Happiness magnetizes happiness, so you should do anything to feel happy before getting into new relationship. It is not the duty of others to make your life full of happiness. In fact, every relationship suffers massively when both partners are not happy even with themselves.

3. Tame your every expectation. Disappointment always exist there, where people have many expectations in their mind about their life partners, like how they will sit, they should talk about your favorite topics, and other lots of things firmly settled in their mind. To life a successful life along your partner, you should think that you are going to give her rather than you expect from her. Unless you get the full spiritual mastery and high enlightenment, you are still an object in progress. However, you got plenty of room for becoming the best entity for better relationship. This should be your focus of all time.

4. Try to know deeply about the person before going to date. Mostly, the unhappy relationships stem from the failure of understanding and awareness about each other during the dating. You should be attentive while dating to observe her attitude towards other rather than her behavior with you. It is possible that you could find a person, who is caring with you, but very harsh to his parents, lie to his employers, or shirk his responsibilities for the children. After all, whatever a person does and thinks represent the reflection of his real life.

5. Renew your thinking: if you select any changed outlook and propose thoughts of gratefulness, the law of attractions can present you many motivations to appreciate. You should think “she is doing so hard to cope the work and family together”, instead of “she waste much time in office and less at home.”

Getting information about the affirmation of love is source of transforming into loving individual. A loving being is always capable of spreading love to others. You can attract someone to enter in your life by loving that person. Everybody in the world is in need of others and can only get it with love. The main thing in this process is the attraction, or style of communications to exchange love with others. Everybody must know the flow of love, to give and get it back at any situation. Love is an essential tool for every human being as water, food, and oxygen. The style and affirmation depends on the relation on the other side. If you have your mother on the other end, then your affirmations would be different, but if you have a friend or life partner then your affirmations would be different.

There are many people in the world, who fail to get love from other relations, but they adopt pets to complete their desire for love in the life. Caring of your pet is a kind of emotions and a proof of existing need of love in every human in universe. You might have noticed about these people, they care their pets like a family member and arrange a complete comfortable life to them. They enjoy the fun and love returned to them by their pets.

However, it is a reality, that if you love someone, you might not get it back from the other side as you desire. You must consider the fundamentals of love, so that you can offer your love to others. Is it not a wonder that you are offering a feeling which you don’t know. You can express your love in better style and comfort, once you are properly aware of its consequences. The first rule of love is the perception of non returnable feelings. Loving others does not mean that they will also love you, but you should continue loving others only to complete your desires. Your relationship will never fail, once you learn the true meanings of love.

Love expressions also have different techniques and ways. You can show it by touching someone, you can also whisper to the other side in huge gathering, by presenting a beautiful gift to the lover.

Affirmations of love must be your all time companion. Create your own affirmations of love if you want. Stand in front of mirror and recite these affirmations repeatedly as long as possible. as an example, you can also tell yourself that strong emotions are all around you which let you live a happy life. The affirmation of love could be like this, I have the best partner in my life and we are living together as we are made for each other. You should be a realistic, and must choose those phrases as affirmation of love, which represent your attitude and loving personality. It could bring a better change in your life.

Many people like to use the law of attraction for the better relationships, but do not know how to use them. Relationships need a lot to work on them. You must have an open mind to create a new relation and to continue with the old family relation as well. Even if you got the two nicest humans of the world, who are enjoying their relationship together, very soon they can get on the nerves of each others.

You should utilize the laws of attractions for your benefit, if you stuck your relationship in any bumpy spot. You can eliminate these bumpy spot easily with the help of laws of attractions. You may heart when your partner neglect or disappoint you. You may think that she is no longer a same person you fell in love, but she is, after all she is a human and can do anything wrong. Use the laws of attractions here and forgive her for her mistakes and forgive yourself for your bad thinking. Taking a picture at that moment can change the whole scenario and you will like to love her as before.

Once you select someone for creating relationship, than you should fully accept her as she is. You should accept her as the evidence of your pure love. Every pure love produces positive circumstances and happiness in your precious life. On the other hand, a lack of confidence or acceptance, is always a breeding ground of grieves. Relationships only fulfilled when each partner feels that he can follow his partner’s path.

You should try to change yourself instead of trying to change your partner. You should try to improve your ability to share and this self improvement can benefit both of you in strengthening your relationship. Whenever you get headache about the behavior of your partner, just think of your behavior not only towards her, but with the other people surrounding you as well. This will let you change your attitude and will calm down the situation. You will see for changing in yourself not to your partner.

Demands of changing are mostly face the resistance, and that resistance can take the shape of resentment, which can lead to separation. Individual’s lifestyle is different and they are not as proficient in daily routines as the married people. For example; you can hate the habit of your partner leaving the shampoo on the sink, or drinks on the cooking range. Although, it is a good habit to keep the things on their respective place, but you can teach your partner for avoiding these habits by your behavior, instead of telling her about these bad habits, you should arrange these things back to their place. Eventually, she will put the things back to their relative place.

You should be wary of the confusing success in life. Countless relationships always endure the every test of time, despite the reality of the miserable life of both partners or anyone of them. This kind of longevity specifies the tolerance instead of success. You should measure your success in life by the satisfaction of yourself with the relationship of your partner.

Love is an ethereal practice that gives us a cool feeling of completely alive. Love is a stage where all the emotions are magnified, all the senses are heightened, and life looks like worthwhile by transcend of daily reality. Love is a special sustenance of our soul. It has proved that the entire collection of human needs rooted in the need of love. The desire of fame, many material things and fortune needed to be acknowledged, admired, respected, and most of all to be loved. You cannot get a best definition of love than the George Sand as: “There is only one happiness in the life, to love and be loved.” There are many affirmations of love which you can use to embody, attract, receive, give, and reap the love rewards. The choice of affirmation of love is vast and one can choose any appropriate to him, resonate with him, or smack a poignant chord. Therefore, the choice of words must have comfortable feelings for you and to whom, you are in love. You can create a special collection of words for any specific requirement by substituting with other words of your own choice.

1. I want to be filled with extreme love.
2. I love myself and always accept the way I live.
3. I love to express my feelings to only my friends.
4. I am glowing hub of divine love.
5. Divine love is my passion.
6. I love to be a part of unconditional love to my God.
7. Love fresh me up with its feeling.
8. Loving others is a precious gift of God.
9. Love is totally a joyful feeling to me.
10. I love to receive and give love joyfully and smoothly.
11. I am an easily loved guy.
12. My parents and friends love me.
13. The expression of love is a freeway for me.
14. I like to increase my love with its supply to others.
15. I radiate my love to every place, things and persons.
16. People are always anxious to love, and I never stop them.
17. I like to breathe in the love universe.
18. I like to attract the beautiful and loving personals in my life.
19. I always search for true love.
20. I am an attractive and loving person in all the relationship of life.
21. I propose love to everybody I meet.
22. I love to approve myself.

You can get several books and articles to improve your technique of affirmation of love to the best point, so that, the generation of manifesting the desires could be easy and automatic. You can combine the affirmations with seven most powerful manifestation techniques; alpha technology of sound, visualization, sentence completion, wave synchronization of the whole brain, goal setting, assignment writing, and subliminal technology.

Sounds intimidating, you can use a software program to do it easily and smoothly. This software seamlessly integrates the affirmations of your choice with seven powerful techniques to produce a complete “all you need in success” approach for producing results of your desire at great speed. It is really fun and easy, just switch on your personal computer, and search for Sculptor, open the site and set in to take a test drive.

Hug your way to a healthier Mind and Body!

Heal Your Mind and Body

By Raquel Smith

You can heal your mind and body through hugging.

Yes, you heard me correctly. Studies show that hugging heals everything from emotions to diseases. It is also a fact that touching triggers healing in our bodies. A great example is that of premature babies in the hospital.

The babies who are not touched regularly takes a longer time to develop or they may even die. The ones who are touched regularly feel the love and flourishes in top speed. Hugging keeps you healthy by strengthening the immune system. It also relieves stress and depression.

The dictionary defines hug as:

1. 1. To clasp tightly in the arms, with affection; embrace.
3. 2. To cling firmly or fondly to; cherish
5. 3. To keep close.

Hugging is a way of saying that you care to someone or even to yourself. Hugging is a natural part of us as humans. How come we don't do it more often? If you can remember as a child you just loved hugging everyone and as you grew older you decided that hugging was not "adult." The fact is as we grow older the need for hugs grow with us, whether we accept that fact or not.

Virginia Satir, Family Therapist made this observation:

We need 4 hugs a day for survival.

We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance.

We need 12 hugs a day for growth.

Imagine that, we should be hugging at least 4 times per day just for survival. There may be some of you saying that you are single and you work from home. So, there is no way you can even get one hug per day. Oh contraire my friend. You can hug yourself. That's right, it's called self-hug. You can hug yourself as many times as you want. One person even noted that it is cheaper than getting a massage. This is where the healing comes in. By you hugging yourself, you are connecting with your spirit and being centered. You are showing yourself love which leads to you feeling better about yourself. The benefits that you get after that are innumerable.

Once you love yourself, then you can pass on that love to others. Once everyone gets into the practice of hugging a change in the environment follows. Once people start feeling good about themselves and others they can start the healing process of removing any dis-ease from their body.

There are several types of hugs, I will tell you about three in this article:

1. 1. The A-frame hug - this involves only the heads touching of each person. It is more formal in nature and generally used on new acquaintances or in a business setting.
3. 2. The Heart-Centered hug - it is considered to be the highest form of hugging. This involves full body contact by both parties. This form of hugging acknowledges each other from deep within. It is usually reserved for very close friends and family.
5. 3. The Self hug - this involves you hugging yourself. This hug allows you to show yourself love and compassion. It gives you a sense of self- worth.

Here are a few benefits of hugging; this list is by no means exhausted:

• Dispels loneliness
• Opens the door to feelings
• Eases tension
• Builds self-esteem
• Heals dis-ease
• Balances your emotions
• It is fun

As I mentioned earlier, hugging is the most natural thing to do. We got our first hug as soon as we came into this world by the person who delivered us. Hugging does not have to be looked on as sensual. It is merely giving support and showing compassion to each other. Think about it, when you are feeling down or not feeling well, you perk up immediately if someone gives you a hug. I am encouraging you today, to start practicing this "lost heart of hugging™." I said heart, hugging is from the heart. You are sharing from the heart. Remember to hug yourself first.

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can fly embracing each other."

Luciano de Creseenzo

© 2008 Raquel C. Smith, Values Alignment Coach

Raquel C. Smith, "The Values Alignment Coach," publishes the transformational Golden Life Living' monthly ezine. If you're ready to transform your life into a golden life and start living the life of your destiny, get your FREE ebook now at http://www.goldenlifecoaching.com/unstoppableconfidence.html

Amy Waterman on Relationships

Amy Waterman is a dating & relationships expert and author of the books 'Save My Marriage Today' and 'How To Be Irresistible To Men'.

She's traveled far from her childhood on the coast of Oregon. In the past ten years, she's run a marathon, served as a Peace Corps volunteer, earned a masters degree in writing from the University of Wales, and studied agriculture in the U.K., South America, and Australia. She's currently settled down in New Zealand and enjoys its natural beauty, fantastic coffees and wines, and healthy lifestyle.

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We've recently had an opportunity to have a conversation with her on about her own relationships, lifestyle, and her books.

Listen to the full Amy Waterman Open Lecture here (approx 40 mins)

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Enjoyed the Amy Waterman Open Lecture? Find out more about her book "How to be Irresistible To Men"

It's a woman's to guide to attracting the right men or to reigniting passion in their existing relationships. It's delightful to read, I'd definitely recommend checking it out.

Click Here To Find Out More

I love the kind of diversity that the New York Times newspaper has for their articles.

Have lots of fun and stay romantic!

Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples

Long-married couples often schedule a weekly “date night” — a regular evening out with friends or at a favorite restaurant to strengthen their marital bond.

But brain and behavior researchers say many couples are going about date night all wrong. Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale.

Using laboratory studies, real-world experiments and even brain-scan data, scientists can now offer long-married couples a simple prescription for rekindling the romantic love that brought them together in the first place. The solution? Reinventing date night.

Rather than visiting the same familiar haunts and dining with the same old friends, couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different activities that they both enjoy, says Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. The goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship. The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking an art class or going to an amusement park.

The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)

Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. The butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away and are replaced by familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment.

But several experiments show that novelty — simply doing new things together as a couple — may help bring the butterflies back, recreating the chemical surges of early courtship.

“We don’t really know what’s going on in the brain, but as you trigger and amp up this reward system in the brain that is associated with romantic love, it’s reasonable to suggest that it’s enabling you to feel more romantic love,” said the anthropologist Helen E. Fisher, of Rutgers, who has published several studies on the neural basis of romantic love. “You’re altering your brain chemistry.”

Over the past several years, Dr. Aron and his colleagues have tested the novelty theory in a series of experiments with long-married couples.

In one of the earliest studies, the researchers recruited 53 middle-aged couples. Using standard questionnaires, the researchers measured the couples’ relationship quality and then randomly assigned them to one of three groups.

One group was instructed to spend 90 minutes a week doing pleasant and familiar activities, like dining out or going to a movie. Couples in another group were instructed to spend 90 minutes a week on “exciting” activities that appealed to both husband and wife. Those couples did things they didn’t typically do — attending concerts or plays, skiing, hiking and dancing. The third group was not assigned any particular activity.

After 10 weeks, the couples again took tests to gauge the quality of their relationships. Those who had undertaken the “exciting” date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the “pleasant” date night group.

While the results were compelling, they weren’t conclusive. The experiment didn’t occur in a controlled setting, and numerous variables could have affected the final results.

More recently, Dr. Aron and colleagues have created laboratory experiments to test the effects of novelty on marriage. In one set of experiments, some couples are assigned a mundane task that involves simply walking back and forth across a room. Other couples, however, take part in a more challenging exercise — their wrists and ankles are bound together as they crawl back and forth pushing a ball.

Before and after the exercise, the couples were asked things like, “How bored are you with your current relationship?” The couples who took part in the more challenging and novel activity showed bigger increases in love and satisfaction scores, while couples performing the mundane task showed no meaningful changes.

Dr. Aron cautions that novelty alone is probably not enough to save a marriage in crisis. But for couples who have a reasonably good but slightly dull relationship, novelty may help reignite old sparks.

And recent brain-scan studies show that romantic love really can last years into a marriage. Last week, at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology conference in Albuquerque, researchers presented brain-scan data on several men and women who had been married for 10 or more years. Interviews and questionnaires suggested they were still intensely in love with their partners. Brain scans confirmed it, showing increased brain activity associated with romantic love when the subjects saw pictures of their spouses.

It’s not clear why some couples are able to maintain romantic intensity even after years together. But the scientists believe regular injections of novelty and excitement most likely play a role.

“You don’t have to swing from the chandeliers,” Dr. Fisher said. “Just go to a new part of a town, take a drive in the country or better yet, don’t make plans, and see what happens to you.”

By TARA PARKER-POPE from the New York Times.

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