Being humans we all suffer pain during the life course. Pain can be cause by anything, be it rape, murder, abuse, or may be simple betrayal. No one becomes unique if that person suffers from pain. Even though sometimes the pain of loss is so pinching that it becomes difficult to put it into words. As a result all we get is a feeling of bitterness, than walls all around us and enables us to make connections with the part of our mind, body and soul that we have lost. It is irrational yet we expect the person who wounded us to suffer.

The only way to leach oneself out of that prison is through forgiving that respective person. In a case study, while I was going through it. I read as to how a girl forgave two guys who had hurt her extremely and in spite of forgiving them strait at that very point of time she still kept struggling for a couple of years ahead to trust someone else she met.

Then I realized that the key to forgiveness is not when someone hurts you and you just out rightly forgive the person. That would never heal your wound completely. This is because every time the old memories and flashbacks will strike you, it would deepen your wound all over again. Thus the only way to forgive someone forever and save yourself from the ocean of sorrows is through persistent forgiveness. Every time that person or even is reminded to you, you ought to forgive that person all over again. Keep forgiving till you are not overcome with that incident and those happenings in your life.

The simplest way is to follow the process of forgiveness. Firstly one needs to know what hurt him, who were the people involved and wrong did they brought to that person. Then you must try to understand the reason behind their action and their motive behind doing so. Further on you realize as to what unforgiveness has done or what it might do if it still continues the same way. Then one must choose to forgive. This can be done in any way may be by writing a journal or say a letter.

Next you sit down with the person and tell him as to what action or deed of his hurt you. For complete forgiveness one needs to be totally open. Realize how the person reacts to your response to his mistake and if he still has issues than that’s certainly not your problem. Next, to pray good for that person and ask god to bless that person always. Lastly you meditate the words of god and preach their lessons of forgiveness all the time. This helps you not only to completely the forgiveness process but also stop from the old memories coming back to your mind.

As difficult as it is, forgiving yourself is a necessary step towards a better life. The following rituals would help you in the process:

1. Reflecting upon the past: You cannot do anything to change the past but you can change your present. Don’t let the past overshadow your present and future. Ponder over what you did wrong then, you can’t undo it but you can surely prevent yourself from committing the same mistake again. Imagine how things would have gone if you hadn’t made that mistake, how different things would have been, how different your life and you would have been. Think of how you used to be and try becoming a better self, not the sulky self.
2. Meditation: Meditation is one of the best ways to heal. You are broken and you need mend yourself. Meditate each day for at least a month for fifteen minutes. Do it in a disturbance free surrounding. Concentrate on your breathing, take deep breaths and let your realization dawn upon you. Don’t shut yourself against the negative feelings; instead open yourself up to them. Allow these emotions to sink into you and think of how you can forgive yourself. What can you do to make for the past? At first the confrontation with your negative feelings could be disturbing but after sometime, you’ll feel that your mind has actually calmed down. You would find solace in meditating after sometime.
3. Chanting: Chanting is an effective way of changing the pattern of your thoughts. They are effective because you keep on saying the same thing over and over again and after sometime you actually start believing in it. Say the chant out loud to yourself everyday for at least ten times. It could be anything like “I allow myself to heal” or “I forgive myself for the mistake I committed in the past” or “I will let go of the past”. This will help you changing the stream of your thoughts.
4. Keeping a journal: Write down your feelings in a diary. What all you went through today, the feelings that you experienced and the incidents that induced those feelings. This way you’ll come to know what induces negative feelings in you and what makes you happy. Write down the whole process of forgiving yourself, things that you cannot share with anyone. You’ll feel much better after writing your diary.
5. Compensation: Compensate for your past actions. Make a conscious sacrifice of your time and money and put in your effort to do something good.

Forgiving yourself is a journey who’s destination is a better you. These rituals will help make your journey easier and give you a positive direction.

Problem solving involves four basic steps:

Defining the Problem. It may sound obvious, but of course you can't solve a problem without defining it first! It is crucial to fully study the problem, so that you understand all of its aspects. Only with this understanding will you be able to generate an effective, comprehensive solution. Some tools and techniques for defining problems include root cause analysis, cause and effect diagrams, and systems diagrams.

Finding Alternatives. As you search for a solution to your problem, be sure to include all possible options. Be creative, and don't limit yourself by predefining characteristics that the solution must have. Don't rule anything out until you've analyzed it. It may turn out that you can combine different aspects of various solutions in order to create the one perfect solution that best meets your needs and solves the problem. Possible techniques include brainstorming, star bursting, and metaphorical thinking. If you are working in a group, take advantage of that fact by doing group brainstorming and bouncing ideas off one another.

Evaluating Options. If you're lucky, you will end up with several possible solutions to your problem. In order to choose between them, you will need to find some method of evaluating their strengths and weaknesses. Possible methods include pro and con lists, risk analysis, and impact analysis. If finances are a concern, you will also need to consider cost/benefit analysis, cash flow forecasting, and break-even analysis. You will also need to consider your (or your company's) value system. Even if a certain solution makes perfect sense financially, if it does not jibe with your value system it is not an acceptable solution.

Implementing Solutions. Once you have chosen a solution, you need to figure out how to implement it. Depending on the complexity of the solution, you may need to consult with multiple parties or individuals in order to produce a plan for implementation. If the solution is controversial, you will need to get support for it before implementation. Ways of getting support include using stakeholder analysis and influence maps to discover who the key players in the implementation project will be. Once these individuals are identified, you can begin working with them to plan and endorse the project.

Even after the solution is in place and the problem is solved, you will need to evaluate it and make sure it is successful. You can do this by testing it and listening carefully to feedback from users.

Most of these problem solving steps are intuitive. With small problems, you probably go through all of these steps without even realizing it. However, if your problem is larger or involves a whole bunch of other people, you would do well to use these techniques.

One of the most common problem solving techniques is brainstorming. By letting your mind open and your thoughts flow freely, you can generate an amazing number of ideas and possible solutions to your problem. During the brainstorming process, it is important not to judge any of the ideas. The time for judgment and analysis will come later. Right now, it is just important to put every idea out there and not interrupt the flow of ideas with negative assessments.

Once you have a list of ideas from your brainstorming session, you can sort them into categories using an affinity diagram. If you thought ahead, you would have written your brainstorming ideas on sticky notes, which are easy to move around and stick onto the various pages of the affinity diagram. Looking at your notes, start picking out common threads and topics. You will see that your seemingly disparate ideas actually have many similarities. Now that your material is organized, you can think in terms of categories and then work from there to develop a solution.

Another important technique is the root cause technique. When you are faced with a problem, you need to study it to make sure that what you see is in fact the entire problem, and not just a symptom of a larger problem. For example, let's say your problem is that sales are down. Rather than diving into an attempt to solve this problem by boosting sales, you should investigate the root causes to discover why sales are down. You may discover that your packaging has changed recently, or an ad campaign has just ended, or some other factor that contributed to or even caused the drop in sales. Armed with this additional information, you can now create and implement better, more wide-reaching solutions that address both the causes and effects of the problem.

Data gathering and analysis is also integral to effective problem solving. Not only must you gather facts and data about the problem and its effects, you must also make sure you fully understand the implications of the solution that you choose. Before you implement a solution, check to see if others have experienced the same problem. You may be able to benefit from their knowledge and experience.

You might not always have time to indulge in a lengthy brain storming session or problem analysis. If you have a time-sensitive problem, you will need to practice split second decision making techniques. Split second decision making has also been called "thin slicing," because when faced with a time crunch, you must take a thin slice of the problem's most important variables and use that to make your decision, rather than analyzing every possible facet of the problem.

...and start building GOOD ones (yes, it's possible).

Do you smoke, but wish you didn't? Does it seem impossible, no matter how hard you try, to keep your desk or office lean and clean? Or do you wish you read for 30 minutes a day to learn new gardening techniques?

Habits, good or bad, are a major part of our life. Think about it, how many actions or activities do you repeat day in and day out? If you can't think of any, observe yourself today and note which tasks you do daily without a second thought.

The beauty and the curse of habits is they're so thoughtless. But wait! There is usually something that inspires each habit occurring; a meal inspires a cigarette, getting home from work inspires 2 hours in front of the TV, or a meeting means you need a Coke.

Introduce yourself to The Trigger. The Trigger is the specific event, feeling, or activity - the meal, arrival home, or meeting - that triggers a desire in you - the cigarette, TV, or coke. The first key to breaking a bad habit is understanding what triggers it. Once you know that, you may be able to remove your bad habit by removing the trigger. Only smoke cigarettes when you've had a few too many beers? Limit your intoxication by only bringing cash when you socialize and limiting the quantity you bring. No money = no more beers. But don't forget the taxi!

Some triggers can't be removed from daily life. Fact of life. And these bad habits generally bring some sort of pleasure, albeit usually a short-term pleasure. So, your next step is figuring out how you're going to fill the void left by this habit-removal. Now we're starting to understand...

... The Substitute. The Substitute is what replaces your habit in bringing you pleasure. Want to quit taking that Coke to the meeting? Take a smoothie or fruit juice instead. Always need a coffee in the morning? Try replacing it with tea. Although you must be extremely careful with this, you could try a multi-step substitute replacement using progressively better (or less bad) substitutes. This method highlights the fact that, regardless of the 1-step or multi-step, you...

... need A Game Plan. Your Game Plan is your schedule for habit-removal. Set up checkpoints, 30, 90, and 365 day checkpoints seem good (you didn't think you could get by with no record keeping, did you?). Use these check-points to assess how successful you've been. If at Day 30 you're kicking that poor habit, feel good! Give yourself a reward. If you haven't improved much, assess why it is. Did you properly identify The Trigger? Or maybe you don't have...

... High Stakes. Having High Stakes means you get a meaningful reward or a punishment for success or failure. For example, let's say your goal is to work out 4 times per week (here's how to do it). Before starting, give a trustworthy friend $50 to hold onto. If you succeed to you get to use that for a professional massage. If not, they get to keep it (be clear about this and make sure they agree to it). The Stakes are high and in this case could get expensive, so you...

... might as well Maintain Focus. Keep it to one new habit per 30 days. Here's why. One per month means that in one year, you could stop (start) these bad (good) habits:

• Smoking
• Drinking 4 Diet Cokes per day
• Maintain a lean and clean inbox
• Work out 4 times per week
• Read 30 minutes per day
• Stop watching TV completely
• Stop picking your nails
• Keep the litter box clean for your feline friend by cleaning it daily
• Meditate daily
• Eat breakfast every day
• Keep your kitchen clean by scrubbing it down each month
• Stop eating those brownies after every dinner

Not a bad list, eh? I'd call that a pretty good year.

(Photo Source)

Put it in a bin to go to Goodwill or a local shelter. Take your pile there Tuesday.

Feel good about ridding yourself of unneeded items. Feel even better about helping those in need.

An incredible new website, Productivity Zen, identifies the top 15 productivity stories and blogs of the day by monitoring the buzz of the productivity blog community.

The developers of the site use a software called SocialRank to monitor each of the best productivity sites and determine the day's hottest articles and bloggers in the field.

According to the SocialRank team:

This is done by analyzing how sites and users link, connect, and discuss each other's content. Add a touch of math and what we have is a powerful filter into the hottest stories of the day.

Now you can find better productivity stories, learn more, and get updated... much faster and easier than before.

So far great sites like Zen Habits, Life Optimizer, Matt Idea, and Lifehack have been showing up on the top rankings for the site. But also some new faces that I urge all your productivity junkies to go check out!

It's so nice to be able to find stuff from within the longtail without having to deal with the complications of technorati and the sheer bias some some social networking sites.

Want to know more about these great sites? Visit the links below:

SocialRank
Productivity Zen

We want to let you in on a cool resource that will serve you so well in life. If you haven't come across wikiHow yet you've been missing out. If you ever have a problem of how to do something or find yourself in a sticky, precarious situation look no further.

below: a screenshot of wikiHow

WikiHow Defined:

"wikiHow is a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. With your edits, we can create a free resource that helps millions of people by offering solutions to the problems of everyday life. wikiHow currently contains 22,479 articles written, edited, and maintained primarily by volunteers. Please join us by writing on a topic not yet covered, or editing a page that someone else has started."

We use it and have seen it been put into action:

At a party a few weeks back my friend managed to get locked out of her room. After exhausting every possibility we could think of, she didn't know where to turn.

After disappearing for 10 mins she appeared from the shadows and unlocked the door, but HOW?!!!!!

The Answer:

How to Open a Door with a Knife

Here, at Self Pursuit, we'd like to show you the value of this resource and give you some great advice on getting the best night's sleep and wake up feeling right as rain!

Find out:

How to Find Places to Sleep in the Cold

How to Go to Bed Early

How to Rest With Your Eyes Open

How to Wake up Peacefully

How to Wake up a Person

How to Sleep Better

How to Wake up for Class

How to Wake Up On Time

How to Wake Up Without an Alarm Clock

How to Make Breakfast in Bed

What do you think of wikiHow? We're intrigued to hear your feedback.

PS - Which priceless 'How Tos' have you discovered?

Interesting Articles

18 Wonders of the Human Body

5 Battles To Overcome Procrastination

The Road to Success

Problem Solving Tools and Techniques

 These are 15 fun ideas that will increase your brain activity. It has been proven that the more exercise you give your brain the more it will grow and operate to new super levels. Are you striving to be more intelligent, more creative? Here's a great platform on how you can achieve your goals. 

15 Extra Ways to Keep Your Brain In Shape

“If you nurture your mind, body and spirit, your time will expand. You will gain a new perspective that will allow you to accomplish much more.”

- Brian Koslow

It’s simple, your brain is at the center of everything you do, all you feel and think, and every nuance of how you relate to people. It’s both the supercomputer that runs your complex life and the tender organ that houses your soul. So it is very important to focus on keeping your brain in shape.

By regularly engaging in the right activities, you can increase your memory, improve your problem-solving skills and boost your creativity. Here are some extra tips on how to keep your brain in top nick.

1. Just stop.

"Take 20-30 minutes out of your day to think about nothing. But don’t sleep – you’ve got to meditate. Sit still, reduce sensory input, and try to focus your mind on something like a calm scene or a color (to begin with thinking about something rather than trying to think of ‘nothing’ is easier). A study at the University of Kentucky revealed that subjects who took a late-afternoon test after meditating for 30 minutes had better scores than those who napped for the same time."

2. Hit the streets.

"Lace up your running shoes and get moving. A study from the University of Illinois, US, revealed that aerobic exercise actually increases brain volume. They put two groups through different regimens - one did aerobic training three times weekly for one hour; the other group did just stretching and toning exercise. The aerobics group had increased their brain volume and white matter, which forms the connections between neurons."

3. Mix it up.

"Exercise has long been hailed as an aid to brain-power longevity. But to ensure you’re not leaving the gas on in your eighties, vary your workout routines now. Try changing things up on a regular basis and you’ll stimulate your brain more because you’re not using the same pathway over and over again."

4. Read a book.

"Choose from classic literature, science fiction or personal development books and give your brain a boost. Pick up a novel before your next flight or vacation. On top of the cerebral benefits, the escapism that comes from reading can be very relaxing. Reading helps you exercise your cognitive skills and increase your vocabulary. Do it regularly and you’ll be amazed at the information you absorb, which will make you a more interesting conversationalist."

5. One-cup-manship.

"Swilling coffee could be the perfect accompaniment to the cryptic crossword. Austrian researchers measuring brain activity found short-term memory and concentration improved after consuming 100mg of caffeine - equal to an Americano. But after 40 minutes those guinea pigs were back to the dumbness levels of a twice-a-day Deal Or No Deal viewer."

6. Engage in a debate.

A lively discussion can be invigorating. As long as you avoid letting it digress into an argument, you can have a lot of fun debating the pros and cons of an issue with a friend or colleague. Playing with your brain stimulates blood flow and strengthens the connections (synapses) between nerve cells in the brain. You’ll practice your quick thinking skills, logic and creativity. And developing convincing theories on the spot will help you in your career and in your personal relationships.

7. Grab the Brainbox 360 controller.

"Believe it or not, playing certain video games can actually be good for your health. You’ll develop stronger visual skills and make decisions 85% faster than non-gamers, say experts from the University of Rochester, New York. Gamers can read the newspaper, recognize a scene or pick out facial features faster in between fragging killer aliens."

8. Subscribe to a daily newsletter.

"Make the most out of your web surfing. Whether it’s a “word of the day,” “quote of the day” or “this day in history” newsletter, receiving new information each day will add data to the hard drive in your head. The mental stimulation will increase your comprehension skills. The additional knowledge will also make you sound more worldly and intelligent."

9. Curry favours.

"Tuck into a Ruby Murray tonight to clear the mental cobwebs. Scientists from University of California discovered that curcumin – a yellow-coloured compound found in the curry spice turmeric can slow the onset of memory loss. Small doses of curry could also help protect the brain against Alzheimer’s disease - at least that’s the effect in rats. Curries with a yellow tinge will have the highest curcumin count."

10. Grab a cue and play pool.

"Rack ‘em up, grab a cue and concentrate on your strategy. Billiard players must focus on the immediate, blocking out distractions as they plan their next moves. Strategic planning increases mental clarity. Concentrating on the immediate helps keep your mind sharp. Furthermore, this game of angles demands that players think in terms of physics, something most of us rarely do in our everyday lives. And it’s a brilliant way to pass the time."

Read the full story and other 5 ways

Why don't you find out more about the brain and increase your brain activity by reading another post on Increasing Your Brain Activity.

Have you been faced with a problem but haven't had the right tools and techniques for solving it. I've dug up 20 great problem solving tools and techniques that will reduce the time it takes you to solve problems. It doesn't matter whether you're solving small mental problems or really serious and complex problems these problem solving tools and techniques will still apply.

These tips can aid you through everyday life and will teach you how to deal with sometimes the most abstract of situations. One great tip for solving problems is to never be one dimensional about the whole process, creativity in many different forms will guide you to the answers.

These tips come from the great Win Wenger. . . He's a modern day thinker in creative problem solving.

20 Problem Solving Tools and Techniques

1. Really want to solve the problem.

2. Have wide-ranging interests, and feed them.

3. Be willing to entertain ideas and inspirations from outside the box—not only "think outside the box." Learn from any and every source as per our new ancient saying:

"Anyone can learn from someone wise....it takes someone pretty wise to be able to learn even from fools."

4. Be willing to keep coming back to the problem from different directions.

5. Be willing to let go of it between times, deal with other matters or to—

•  tend the garden
•  wash the dishes
•  meditate
•  experience or 'do' in the arts.
•  take inordinate pleasure in little things—sometimes that's all you'll have, sometimes those become big worthy things

6. Keep/build your stamina and follow-through.

7. Keep your health.

8. "Keep your day job."

9. Keep your sense of humor.

10. Be fully creative, then fully critical, then fully creative.....

11. Raise and keep up your level of ongoing tinkering—

• tinker with the problem
• tinker with the idea or with ideas
• tinker with other things
• be opportunistic
• fiddle in other creative activities, keep those further resources of yours in the picture

12. Work in creative bursts; don't 9-to-5 it. Grinding a chapter a day just doesn't do it. Fly on inspiration as fast as possible before the pattern dissipates. Fly fast on inspiration as long as possible, then climb right back on and go up again. You get more of what you reinforce. Moreover, the unique rewards of working inspired will keep you reinforced to be creative. Be willing to dog-plod some of the task, on some sort of scheduled regular basis of production, but do as much as possible inspired. Don't wait for inspiration, find it.

13. Build high self-esteem—

Reinforce your confidence by being self-critical from time to time.

Search hard for everything that might be wrong with your idea-theory-discovery-invention, then: "Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead!"

14. Do your homework, keep on getting better informed in the context.

15. Pat yourself on the back on some of those many occasions when no one is going to do that for you. Find others also doing something worthwhile and pat them on the back.—A small but definite percentage will reciprocate. Find/create a support group. You don't have to be alone. Support can be found in unexpected places.

16. Appreciate: "the closest distance between two points" in human affairs is usually a very zig-zag line!

17. Appreciate: the assets and abilities which have brought you this far already.

18. Appreciate: the many, many others who have been this part of the road and somehow made it through. Resolve to be with them and not with those who instead fell to the wayside. You deserve to make it through, you're going to make it through, you have within you and above you what it takes to make it through! People need, human beings depend on, what you're bringing through! And many with far less to do it with than you, have made it through!

19. Be sure of at least some of the worth of what you are seeking to bring through.

20. Get visibly on record everyone who says "no" to you and their grounds for saying "no." Prepare for publication your running memoirs about your campaign and how these people, by name, title and position, said "no." Some will find it safer to say "yes" rather than join the public ranks of the following, as reported once in Reader's Digest under "History Lessons"—

Source

There it is . . . BUT surely you have some great problem solving tools and techniques of your own that work really well. We want to here about your great tools and techniques you use to solve any kind of problems. Why not read more on Problem Solving Tools and Techniques with "6 Ways to Master Difficult Subject Matter".