Getting to Know Yourself. In this exercise, you will need a piece of paper divided into four sections. Begin by listing your skills in the first section. What are you good at? These could be professional skills like writing, computer programming, mechanics, organizing, etc., as well as informal activities like cooking, decorating, or playing a sport. Next, list your qualities. These should be things like intelligence, grace, friendliness, humor, energy, and so on. Now compare your skills and qualities. Can you see how the two are related, and how each quality is expressed in a skill? Express gratitude for your qualities, and see if you can think of any more skills that would be a good match for your qualities. Working towards developing these skills will help improve your self-confidence. If you've thought of any skills you would like to develop, write them down in the third section of your paper. This section is for your ambitions, so also write down any other goals you can think of. In the last section of the paper, write down what you see as your problem areas, or areas where you lack confidence. Go back to your qualities, and see if you can imagine how you might use the wonderful qualities you naturally possess to improve these problem areas and build up your confidence. Keep this sheet of paper and use it to chart your personal growth and progress towards achieving your goals and eliminating your problem areas.

Daily Pep Talk. This exercise helps to make sure that you keep your spirits up and begin each day ready and willing to focus on the positive. In order to create your personalized pep talk, list your strengths and good qualities as well as any achievements you are proud of. From this list, create a series of affirmations, like "I am a warm, happy individual who expresses joy, loyalty, and humor." You can also create affirmations by reversing negative thoughts about yourself. For example, if you think that you lack energy and inspiration and hate getting out of bed in the morning, your affirmation might be, "I can joyously meet each morning with expectations of good. I have a purpose in life and each day builds towards this purpose. I am loved and needed and my activities today are important to myself and others." Remember, the purpose of the pep talk is to reinforce your confidence in your good qualities and reverse any negative ideas you have about yourself. Be sure to cover both of these aspects in your pep talk. With daily practice, you will be well on your way to building more self-confidence.

Some of the causes of low self-confidence are identified as Fear: If fear is something that stops you to perform in a certain way then only way to succeed is to combat that fear, Guilt: Don’t let the guilt to hold you for any mistake that have been committed by you. Once you shirk this guilt feeling, self-confidence will be felt strengthening, Un-realistic expectations: act of sabotaging yourself would definitely not let you raise self-confidence so always be away from such unrealistic expectations that might convince you of being failure for anything.

People suffering from this glitch of how to build self-confidence attempts to follow some self-confidence exercises which helps them in improving their personality appearance and reach their potential:

• Dressing: The way you dress-up yourself has a great impact on how you interact with people. A well dressed person feels more confident than that of a poorly-dressed.

• Paced walking: people who walk fast, have places to go, people to meet are believed to have more self-confidence.

• Active posture: people showing good and active postures can easily put forth an impression of being self-confident and are traced as empowered and vigilant.

• Make a motivational speech: In order to raise self-confidence, simply think and write about your strengths, achievements and goals and acknowledge it when needed either only for you or in front of others. It will certainly help you to take next step towards success.

• Look for best in others: Rather than backstabbing or gossiping about the people around you, make a habit of praising and acknowledging their efforts. Doing this will help you to bring out the best in yourself thus raising self-confidence.

• Spotlight the contribution and work out: let you thinking go beyond your own wishes and take part in doing what others want you to do for them would result in your praise and acknowledgement thereby increasing your self-confidence.

• Turn deaf ear to what others say: Don’t care for what others think, say or speak about you. Just be concerned about how you speak to them would surely help you getting out of such distress.

• Dedicate time for meditation: Try giving a little portion of day to the mediation and reflection. In such time think about your achievements, abilities and picture yourself as a successful person in whatever situation comes your way.

• Affirm your confidence: Keep on uttering or thinking affirmation comments for your abilities such as yes, I will/can do anything or I am improving with each passing day and etc.

Though, these exercises are small to follow but they bet a big difference in your life and indeed, you will be surprised when your life will tell all new story.

Before you learn how to have self-confidence, it is important to understand what exactly self confidence is. That way, you can set more effective goals for your self-improvement process. Self-confidence is not about self-aggrandizement, unwarranted bragging, or having an unrealistic concept of your own self-importance. Instead, it is about loving yourself and having faith in your own unique strengths and abilities.

You might think that in order to demonstrate self-confidence, you need to be loud and constantly expressing your own opinion. In fact, confident people are often the most humble and selfless individuals around. When you love yourself fully, you will not need to spend time bragging or pumping yourself up in the eyes of others. Instead, you can calmly focus on the tasks at hand without worrying about what anyone else thinks of you.

Self-confidence can't be developed overnight. It requires a dedicated commitment and lots of self-reflection. The first step to building self-confidence is to identify the particular area in which you need improvement. For example, you might start by improving your confidence in social situations.

Next, you should identify all the negative thoughts that confront you when you find yourself in a social situation. Correct all these thoughts by replacing them with their opposites. If the thought comes that you are always at a loss for words, replace this with the idea that your opinion is valuable and you have the poise required to share it clearly and confidently. You should also rehearse various social scenarios in your mind. Imagine what you might say and do, and visualize yourself being charming and confident. Think of conversational topics ahead of time.

Another way to boost your self-confidence is to take care of yourself. Eat healthy so that you have energy, get plenty of exercise, and dress with care to project a good self-image. Remember, the desire to look good isn't necessarily shallow. By dressing well and grooming yourself with care, you show others that you value yourself, and also that you respect them. Good posture is also important. Be sure to stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact when speaking and listening to others.

When developing self-confidence, it is also vital to appreciate your existing strengths. Figure out what you are good at. Be grateful for these abilities, and use them to boost your self-confidence. For example, if you discover you are good at cooking, challenge yourself to become even better. Every time you have a success in cooking, you will feel more accomplished and confident. This feeling of success can transfer over to other areas of your life and make it easier to tackle areas you are not confident about. Feeling good about yourself is important because it builds morale and gives you hope and courage for making even more improvements.

Low self-esteem 'shrinks brain'

By Pallab Ghosh, BBC Science Correspondent

People with a low sense of self worth are more likely to suffer from memory loss as they get older, say researchers.

The study, presented at a conference at the Royal Society in London, also found that the brains of these people were more likely to shrink compared with those who have a high sense of self esteem.

Dr Sonia Lupien, of McGill University in Montreal surveyed 92 senior citizens over 15 years and studied their brain scans.

She found that the brains of those with low self-worth were up to a fifth smaller than those who felt good about themselves.

These people also performed worse in memory and learning tests.

Retraining

Dr Lupien believes that if those with a negative mind set were taught to change the way they think they could reverse their mental decline.

He said: "This atrophy of the brain that we thought was irreversible is reversible - some data on animals and some data on humans shows that that if you enrich the environment if you change some factors this brain structure can come back to normal levels"

Researchers are studying which psychological treatments work best.

According to Dr Felicia Huppert of Cambridge University - the early signs are that fairly simple techniques can have an enormous impact:

"There are interventions which talk about focusing on positive things in everyday life and savouring good moments even at times when life is difficult little tiny things may give you pleasure so there are skills involved in how to derive pleasure from the ordinary things in life".

'Reversed'

According to Dr Lupien, the fear of memory loss may be a self fulfilling prophesy as anxiety leads to negative thinking which leads to mental impairment.

"If you always think it's normal to lose something, then you will never work to increase it because doctors have always told you that. I'm saying that it is not normal.

"So this might impact positvely (sic) on the public by saying that its possible to impact on increasing your memory performance and by saying that it is normal to have a fulfilling life, we may be able to increase self esteem among the general public - and prevent a lot of these deficits related to age".

Learn how to stop negative thinking with the power of the Silva Method.

(read the full article here)

Eliminate Fear With 4 Personal Development Questions

By Michael McGrath, May 27th, 2008

Fear is a powerful force in our lives - when we allow it to be! Is there a hidden (or not so hidden) fear lurking in your mind that is holding you back from the life you want? Do you find that you hesitate when you are presented with new opportunities? Do you allow your own negative imaginations to rule your actions?

Have you ever been in a situation where you were prepared for the worst to happen?

Your mind ran wild with terrible imaginings and you were literally paralysed by fear!

Soon the feared event happened!

Yet when you eventually passed through the actual experience you realised that the fear you had was much worse than the actual event!

Most of us have had such experiences.

On the other hand have you ever feared the worst and it didn’t happen?

In both the above situations you probably worked yourself into a frenzy in anticipation of this terrible thing that was about to happen only to find out later that your fears were unfounded. Did you find that the actual experience was not nearly as bad as the fear you initially had.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”

Franklin D. Roosevelt 1933.

So what is fear and how do we defeat it?

Fear is the result of negative mental programming. Fear enters your mind when your  automatic thinking is negative. When you find yourself well outside your comfort zone and in unknown territory! It is the unknown outcome that produces fear in any situation and the collection of many thoughts that direct your consciousness to the worst possible scenario.

Fear is false!

If you look closely at your fears you will find that the great majority of them never come to pass and those that do are not as bad as you expected them to be.

The key to conquering fear lies in your thinking and questioning. In future when you are confronted with a fear you should stop for a moment and take a very deep breath. Breathing deeply relaxes the body and removes the tension that the fear is creating in your body. Then look closely at the way you have just been thinking. Isn’t it true that you filled your mind with images that equated to the worst things that could happen in that situation.

Reverse the thoughts! Begin by questioning the fear. Use the following four questions to paralyse the fear!

1. 1. Is your feared based in reality?
3. 2. If the fear were to become reality would the experience really be as bad as you have been thinking it would be?
5. 3. Is it possible that you may actually gain something from experiencing the feared event?

This last question may sound like a strange thing to ask yourself but there is a two-fold reason for asking it. Firstly, any thought in a different direction breaks the runaway train of negative fearful thought! Secondly, it forces you to look at the fear from a different perspective and neutralizes its power.

1. 4. Is it possible that if I change my thinking now I can actually create what I want instead of being fearful?

When we change how we think we change how we act.

A great majority of people who experience the things that they have feared for a long time have actually brought about the feared event themselves because they have constantly focused on their fears. By focusing on your fears you tend to act in ways that are connected to the fears and thus you unconsciously create the feared event. An example would be a person who fears they will lose their partner.

In order to keep the person they will try to control everything they do, constantly question their actions and scrutinize their every move in order to ensure they never leave them. Can you see how trying to do this will actually create the reverse effect and push the person away. Yet to them they are ensuring they keep the person! Everyone of us acts in this way everyday - we outwardly attract our fears through our actions due to our focus.

Likewise, when we hold in mind the expectation that we will receive what we want to receive our thinking affects our actions and we find ourselves attracting the very things we want.

So to avoid attracting situations and people that will help you manifest your own fears constantly ask yourself the four fear-busting questions above. You will soon find that your fears are only shadows with no real substance and you will begin to move forward in the direction you want.

About the author:
Michael McGrath owns & operates several successful websites Hypnosis & Personal Development Self Hypnosis

Do You Want Success In Your Life?

Are you prepared to dedicate yourself to a journey of life long learning? Are you really committed to accelerate your success and achieve your dream life?

Manny Goldman is the founder of PersonalGrowth.com and author of the new book, The Power of Personal Growth.

After hitting rock bottom in 2004, Manny discovered Personal Growth and became an avid student. In the last 3 years, he has attended and volunteered at more than 50 seminars, read countless books and listened to dozens of audio programs.

Manny's own personal growth has been described as phenomenal. In 11 months, Manny changed his life and went from:

• $100,000 in Debt to financial security
• Overweight at 245lbs to a lean 190lbs
• Clinically depressed to extremely happy and engaged to the woman of his dreams
• Lost with what to do with his life, to being clear on his purpose

Manny's transformation has inspired him to become The Personal Growth Advocate™ and declare a mission to raise the global awareness of the power of Personal Growth for billions of people.  

In this FREE, exclusive 50 minute interview, Manny Goldman gives his invaluable insight on:

• The power of proactive vs reactive growth
• How harnessing the power of responsibility can determine your destiny
• Ensuring you know the 5W's of your life so you can achieve your life dreams
• The 5 roadblocks that's holding you back from your full potential
• The 4 elements of long lasting change
• The missing link in the education system that causes 95% people unable to apply what they learn
• The triad technique that you can easily apply TODAY to start a positive change in your life
• And much, much more...

If you've read countless amount of books and listened to bundles of audio on personal growth BUT still don't know how to apply it, Manny's step-by-step approach in The Power of Personal Growth and his community of support will get you there. Hear first for yourself what Manny Goldman has to say:

OR

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD! (Right-click, Save-as)

FIND OUT ABOUT MANNY GOLDMAN HERE!

A 61 Year Old Farmer Enters The World's Toughest Race...

There are several legends that share the discovery of a long-sought invention and how it was quickly replicated in only days... after everyone finally knew it was possible.

The fact that someone finally proved it could be done was all the others needed to finally create the invention themselves.

This story goes in a similar vein, but with a twist.

In 1983 a farmer from a sheep ranch entered the world's toughest ultra-marathon, an 545 mile (875km) run from Sydney to Melbourne in Australia.

Whereas other runners were under 30, trained specifically for this event, and had corporate sponsorships, Cliff Young was 61, ran sheep on a farm, and was laced in his work boots.

While the other runners followed the equation of 18 hours running, 6 hours sleeping per day, Cliff had no idea such a formula even existed.

And while the other runners focused intently, Cliff made time to wave to the onlookers and media cameras.

And with this back drop, how do you think it ended?

Cliff is now a legend.

He won that race not because of determination, cutting edge equipment, or innovative coaching.

He won because he walked up to that race with infinite possibilities.

Nothing was impossible to him.

And with his mind free of mental impediments, he was able to do what everyone else called impossible.

Cliff is someone we could all look up to.

When you look at what is and is not possible in your life, how much of that is real, and how much is simply imagined?

(Click Here to read this amazing story)

An incredible new website, Productivity Zen, identifies the top 15 productivity stories and blogs of the day by monitoring the buzz of the productivity blog community.

The developers of the site use a software called SocialRank to monitor each of the best productivity sites and determine the day's hottest articles and bloggers in the field.

According to the SocialRank team:

This is done by analyzing how sites and users link, connect, and discuss each other's content. Add a touch of math and what we have is a powerful filter into the hottest stories of the day.

Now you can find better productivity stories, learn more, and get updated... much faster and easier than before.

So far great sites like Zen Habits, Life Optimizer, Matt Idea, and Lifehack have been showing up on the top rankings for the site. But also some new faces that I urge all your productivity junkies to go check out!

It's so nice to be able to find stuff from within the longtail without having to deal with the complications of technorati and the sheer bias some some social networking sites.

Want to know more about these great sites? Visit the links below:

SocialRank
Productivity Zen

Did that get your attention? Good, I'm about to save your hiney. I was perusing a little Net Drudgery today and due to some unforeseen power of Zeus came upon this delightful post on How to Make Women Laugh (I'm linking to it out of courtesy, because WOW, WHAT A PIECE OF UNREPENTED GARBAGE). After seeking more "advice" I was treated with this gem on Typical Mistakes Men Make at Clubs. Derek Vitalio, is there no filter between your head and mouth (or pen)? It takes a special man to dedicate that much energy towards offering overly simplistic solutions to an extremely trite topic. I can only hope you volunteer somewhere sweet on a very regular basis.

In any case, let me address his prose on dialoguing with women first, then I'll address this protocol for living the dream at the club.

He apparently gets grilled quite often by dudes asking him how to be funny. Fine. A great philosophical question. But, the fact that he attempts to provide a serious answer should send up an enormous, extremely bright colored flag with fireworks in the background that the answer you're about to waste precious moments of your life reading is... not worth it. Really. Not. Worth it.

Within the gaping astral blackness of that piece though, there happens to be a tiny nugget of wisdom which, bless your soul if you did in fact read it, you should take away. I'll save you some time, it's right here:

"The trick to being funny is forget “funny” and just be playful. If you’re playful, a girl will laugh. And the reason girls want to laugh is because they want to feel easy COMFORT around you." (Source, in case you forgot)

In this statement are two key ideas, one which stems from the other. Derek fails to explain this derivation . Idea One: Girls want feel comfort. Idea Two: Girls want to laugh. Why do girls want to laugh? Because laughing means they are feeling comfortable; it is a signal. The more laughing, the more comfort, I'm led to believe. Are you with me?

No comfort --> No laughing
Comfort --> Laughing

Thus, Comfort is the ever elusive goal we're going after here, not laughter. Solve the Root Challenge and you actually get somewhere. Girls want to feel comfort. (I can only assume so, given my chromosomes, but I think that is a safe assessment of reality.) Your "takeaway" here should be that going after the Funny Guy label and those grand slam jokes are not the bridges to worthwhile relationships. Seeking to understand her, asking her questions, interest in more than what lies just beneath the cusp of her polo collar; these are things that will get you places and things, maybe even a girlfriend.

If in fact you aren't interested in any of that, and instead enjoy here-today gone-tomorrow type gigs, I recommend the Rands Vegas System as a starter.

But hey, don't take it from me. Take it from Derek. He sells books and writes articles to promote said books. I just write a weblog.

Life is constantly blossoming however one easy way to not live your life to the max is to get dwelled down in events that have happened in the past. Let's face it we all have a past and there's things in our past that don't bring back the fondest of memories.  In order to move on and to recover from these misfortunes or bad memories it's so important to look to the future and don't dwell on the past.

It's really easy to say something like this but believe me it's invaluable advice. From personal experience I know that time is a great healer - BUT whatever you do don't get frozen in time - recognize future opportunities and get on the road to fulfill them.

We all react differently to our mishaps in life - I found this great article which identifies how different people react. The author explains how it's not easy but it's the most sane way to live:

Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past

Life isn't always easy. I'm sure I don't have to convince you of that. We all face tragedies and make mistakes. That's just part of existing on this planet.But at the same time, we're all provided with opportunities and good times. It's a mix of the bitter and the sweet.

Moving On

Part of being successful and happy in life, I believe, is to be able to move on from the tragedies of the past. And we all have them. Sure some of us get it worse than others, but you have to play with the cards life deals you.

If you've been dumped by your lover, been a victim of crime, failed in business, or lost a friend, then you're just one of the multitude. We all face such challenges and sometimes worse. It's the people who can pick themselves up, after an understandable period of mourning, and refocus themselves back on the future who are likely to find happiness. We are human, and need time to recover from setbacks, but it's a mistake to let them consume you.

Attitude

I've travelled extensively and met all sorts of people in my time. The difference between those who are happy and those who aren't is often not to do with circumstances, but with attitude. The ones who can shrug off life's difficulties and work towards something better in the future are the ones who are smiling. They feel a quiet confidence, that they can still find a little goodness and light.

Others I meet can let one negative event in their lives destroy any chance of happiness. They turn the bad things that happened to them over and over in their minds until the world appears dark and brutal. Perhaps they've been through a messy divorce or lost their lucrative career. Perhaps they've had a health problem, or suffered as a victim of crime. Whatever it is, they just don't seem to be able to move on. Their entire life is viewed through the lens of the problems from the past.

You can see this also at play in certain peoples. Those is some countries can't escape from ancient crimes they feel were perpetrated against them. They live their entire lives attempting to correct what should long have been forgotten. Meanwhile, those in other countries seem to do little else but focus on the opportunities of the future.

The Future

I'm sure you can find examples of each without having to think too hard. Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past when living your own life. It's not always easy, but it's the most sane way to live. And, of course, it's your best hope of happiness.

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